i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
