need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
