So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
