We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
