you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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