it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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