I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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