That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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