the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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