I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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