Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Randomize
