i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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