If i could tip my vagina, i would.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize