There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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