what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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