I CAN MOONWALK!
from now on my penis is your penis
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
