babies were throwing up all over the place
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
