just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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