woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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