a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
there was a trapeze. enough said
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
