The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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