Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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