Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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