first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think i peed on brittanys purse
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
