he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
