sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
