the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize