I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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