new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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