There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
