yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you never un-have a 4some
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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