the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish you could order shots online.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
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I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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