wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i love accidental penises.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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