I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
