in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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