the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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