your thong is hanging out like whoa
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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