Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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