yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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