ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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