I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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