OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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