So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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