New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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