I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
