dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
