i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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