Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
