I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
