another moral hangover. fuck.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
