I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
