Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
