come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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