My first STD was from a foam party
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
