just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We have started to decorate penises.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
