You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
