so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
