i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
