I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize