her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
