She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
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Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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