is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize