And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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