Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
