Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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